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The Queen's Sombreros.
Possibly an advert for
Corgi Slice-and-Dice.

See where the domed bit
Gazes sadly with wide eyes;
Stretch. One size fits all.

See how the wide brim
coats her with licks and slobber;
pisses down her neck.

See when the leashes
Dangle, so provocative.
Beauty, sweet and sour.

Flee the demon queen.
Help!! Unfashionable pets.
She feasts on their brains.